Getting a Threshold Of Myself

It’s been a long month and it’s starting to show. My patience is waning, my irritation level is, believe it or not, on the rise, and my tolerance of the kids behaving like 3 year olds (which they happen to be) is non-existentant. It’s hard sometimes to remember that moving homes is as disruptive to their little worlds as much as it is to mine, if not more so. I need to keep that in mind the next time my son decides that bedtime does not really start until you’ve opened the door and shuffled out for every possible reason in the course of an hour, or when my daughter reacts to her socks not being matching colors with the same ferocity as the african-american community did in L.A. when O.J. was acquitted of murder.

I love and adore my wife, and once the dust settles I expect the next years to be the best years. But over the course of the past couple of weeks I can’t help but wonder if she’s either gonna spontaneously flee for the border after one too many days of dealing with the kids in their constantly chaotic state, or if my own inability to stay on a consistent plane of optimism or frustration for more than one-hour increments might cause her to gaze at the boxes she’s yet to unpack and size them up against the space in the trunk of her car for just long enough that the lines connect.

I know we all have or own mental and physical thresholds, and there’s ‘indicators’ or warning lights that go off in advance of a collision or a stall. Some times it’s a nervous tick in the left eyebrow, stammering when you talk, an inability to focus, or constant dizziness and nose bleeds. Our physical barometers is also subject to our physical condition, and when that’s not optimal, one becomes unable to climb a flight of stairs without being winded, groans every time they stand up, their back cricks and pops, they experience insomnia, incontinence, and they let their gut swell so large that they can’t see the frank and beans without craning their neck forward. These are all signs that one needs to take five, breathe, meditate, retreat to nature, go for a long walk, and perhaps audition for the “hand on the bottle” role in the next Corona commercial. Unfortunately for me, i’ve been experiencing at least one of the aforementioned maladies. Perhaps more. It’s nothing that some serious sleep, exercise and a consistent perspective won’t cure. That, and the ability to function for a full day without having to hunt down a missing widget that’s packed in one of 30 or more boxes.

I know I’ll get there soon and we’ll settle into a great time in our lives, but in the mean time, I might be a bit more cranky then I typically am. Or more honestly, I might be less capable of hiding my typical crankiness then usual.


Written by gsm

03/27/2007 at 3:08 am

Posted in  Journal 

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