Gazing Into The Rabbit Hole

Although I don’t know what the hell they were thinking in the sequels, I’ve always marveled at the plot line of the Matrix, and how it can reflect daily life. From religion, politics, marketing, and more, there’s a wonderful and elegant allegory to be applied: the concepts of ‘sleeping and feeding the machine‘ vs ‘being awake to and aware of the realities‘. And I think this has much to do with my present undercurrent of malaise and melancholy. I’ve been ‘awake‘ for a few weeks, aware of mortality, connected to family and friends, and in some ways, just not having to shave or get up and do anything beyond just ‘being’. And now it’s time to go back to work. It’s time to join the routine daily pilgrimage in line with the thousands of other worker-bees, to turn my thoughts and attention away from ‘being’, and on to tasks and responsibilities that keep the cogs in motion, feed the machine, and provide for my family.

But I don’t want to. I feel like I’m walking around in a haze, and everything is flickering as if it’s illuminated by a faulty florescent light. I feel like I’m at a precipice, standing on the edge of real and routine. Yet there’s no true option. The commitments and responsibilities dictate my restraint, and the need to keep in lock step with the masses, ensuring provisions for myself and my family.

It feels like a think film on the skin of my psyche. But, here I go, taking the blue pill, and hoping I’ll be able to keep one eye slightly open along the way.

Morpheus: I imagine that right now you’re feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he’s expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: ‘Cause I don’t like the idea that I’m not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you’re here. You’re here because you know something. What you know, you can’t explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there’s something wrong with the world. You don’t know what it is, but it’s there. Like a splinter in your mind — driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Neo: The Matrix?
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is? The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.


Written by gsm

01/02/2007 at 10:36 am

Posted in  Journal 

2 Responses

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  1. A couple of thoughts:
    1. Everyone goes through this because we all experience time off and the return to the daily grind. How we choose to deal with it in the short term AND the long term helps define who we are.
    2. Some of us recognize the disparity between intellectual freedom afforded because of time off – and in your case underscored darkly by the very real touch of mortality we all have to experience – and the mind-numbing efforts we have to make to succeed in an often maddening professional life. Death of a love one puts a dark pall on the thinking, but in fact helps you to understand how special this time of focus, family time and closeness is. In other words: Life is short. Make the most of each day for you and your family.
    3. We all have to feed our families, even if we don’t find what we do for a living to be the most individually rewarding or to be the most directly supportive of our sometimes self-indulgent need to delve deeply into our thoughts and mine the veins we find.
    3. There are people in our family who rely on us for strength, wisdom, humor, perspective and reason – for light in the darkness. You, more than anyone else I know, are outstanding at this when your focused, but also most able to indulge your inner thoughts. Be the light for others, and they will illuminate you.
    4. Your family needs you first, then you need you. That’s the proper order of priority. Don’t ever forget that.
    5. People need beer. Beer helps in appropriate quantities. That’s what it’s for and also why western civilization began. Beer with friends is the best method of application for this prescription.

    Jon Fuelleman

    01/03/2007 at 9:36 pm

  2. Thanks JF! I appreciate the thoughts, compliments, and your usual way wih words. I’ll drink to #5. Let’s apply this principle more frequently. Starting next Thursday night. :-)


    01/04/2007 at 4:06 pm

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