A Lost and Found Weekend

In our BC years, my wife and I, on such an occasion as a rainy or lazy weekend, would devote the contiguous block of time from Friday evening to Sunday night to watching an entire season of a popular program on DVD. We’d stock up on good food, wine, and spend two days in PJ’s, bundled on the couch, immersed in catching up on some cultural phenomenon such as “24”, The Sopranos”, “Sex and the City”… stuff like that. It’s a great way to watch these, especially if you’ve not seen them at all, which was typically the case.

This weekend we celebrated our 8th anniversary and did something similar, although it required the help of a sitter and having a place to stay overnight. And in the end, the outcome was something Lost and something Found.

The show we got on DVD was the first season of LOST, and although we didn’t have quite the sufficient time to see the entire season yet, we’re enjoying it a great deal, and it’s great fun to try and figure out the angles and relationships along the way.

While she was sleeping in the morning, i was channel surfing and I FOUND an educational program about parenting and marriage, and it really ‘left a mark’. It made me recognize and face that my focus and priorities are not always where they should be. As a father and a husband, and simply as an individual that’ll be here only for an unknown period of time, I don’t think I’m always as conscious of and attending to the things that, were I to look back in reflection at the end of my life, would be the things that made the biggest and best difference.

I’m not saying I’m a terrible father or husband, but I think I could be doing much better in both arenas with a little more discipline and prioritization. For example, I’ve recently setup and been engaged in stocking a ‘media center’ in our home, through which we can access and view movies and TV shows. It’s very cool and I’m certain it’s the wave of the future. BUT it’s not something we are in need of or even fully utilize at this stage of my life, and time spent tinkering with it is time taken away from nurturing my relationship with my wife, helping to keep the house in order, addressing lingering research on home buying, following up on my overdue car registration, and furthering my education in the technologies I use at work every day. Also, I’ve found that by not ‘staying on top of’ the more important needs that allow each day to go smoothly, there’s a ripple effect, and something as simple as not being able to find a pair of matching socks can ultimately contribute to a tense verbal exchange with my wife, or less patience with a toddler who’s still learning that boundaries exist, let alone what they are.

The show I stumbled across talked about positive and negative actions and their impacts between parents and children, and between husbands and wives. As I listened, the list of the negative things had more ‘checkmarks’ on my own mental list then do the positive. That was disconcerting. So I’m taking a few moderate steps to help me refocus on what really matters, including listening to some more spiritual/motivational things on my drive to work, being more focused on work while I am there, more focused on the family when I’m at home, and putting some balance into the equations across the board.


Written by gsm

10/23/2006 at 9:36 am

Posted in  Journal 

2 Responses

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  1. It is easy to get caught up in the “cool” things we want to work with – well actually play with – and we need to a reminder to focus on the important things. Camping this weekend with Connor at Manresa was one of those times.


    10/23/2006 at 6:34 pm

  2. I know it’s been co-opted by Madison Ave., but never underestimate the gift of time.
    It’s more valuable than money.
    We can always earn more money, but we can never earn more time.


    10/24/2006 at 7:12 am

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