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I’ll skip the breakdown; it’s enough to simply say that my focus and efforts, no matter how sincere and dilligent, aren’t bearing much fruit, and the only thing that’s wearing thin is my patience. I’m feeling very down about pretty much every effort/aspect in my attempts to ‘be the me I want to be’. This is beyond depressing. Hopefully I’ll return next week with a more optimistic perspective.

Exercise : A : I’ve stuck with the routine and pushed to the limit each time.
Eating Right : B : The WWDC beer bash aside, i’ve continued to be diligent but it’s starting to be a pain/drain.
Weight Loss : B : I guess losing a pound counts for something but with such efforts I am very discouraged that it’s not been more.
Attitude : D : I’m discouraged, worn, and irritable.

Meh.

Exercise : A : I’ve worked my way up to a full 30-min workout on the cross trainer at full peak heart rate. I’m not making as aggressive an effort on weights just yet, as I want to focus on burning fat.
Eating Right : A : Even though I ‘broke step’ with my efforts for my sister in law’s 40th, i did so in moderation and have stayed on track otherwise.
Weight Loss : C : I’ve not lost anything this week. It’s very discouraging but having done this before, i understand plateau’s exist. If I don’t start losing more soon, though, there’s gonna be some harsh words exchanged with the scale.
Parenting : C : We’re continuing to struggle with getting the kids to behave with us… there’s a great deal of challenging going on and it’s exhausting to constantly. We’re going to focus this week on rewarding the positive and having consequences for negative, but without reactions, which is what they sometimes want.

With the annual MacWorld WWDC beer bash on the horizon for this week I’m going to making a concerted effort to maintain some degree of discipline, stay on the workout routine of 3x/week, and i’ve got a couple of opportunities to have some focused time w/the kids that I hope will give them some opportunities to improve. Our nanny said our kids are actually better then many other’s she’s known so that’s reassuring.

Exercise : B :We joined the ‘Y’ last week, I went for my initial consultation and workout, and now have to start getting in there 3 days/week.
Eating Right : B : I’m still focused on eating well but it’s getting to be a bit of a drag.
Weight Loss : B : Last’s weeks ‘big loss’ was not equaled this week, which is fine. I still am loosing weight which is good.
Parenting/Husband : D : The efforts to loose weight, eat right, exercise, etc, have all added to my stress level and made me quite grumpy, irritated and unpleasant. I’m gonna try some daily vitamin supplements and see if this week can be a better one. Not being a good parent/husband greatly dwarfs all the good efforts in other areas.

This was a tough week. I stayed the course on many things but have been very irritable.

Exercise : C :Although i’ve not started a routine, I have worked out a schedule and should be starting at a gym this week.
Eating Right : A : I’ve been very conscious/focused on what’s going into my system, and it’s working quite well.
Weight Loss : A : I’ve lost 8 lbs since my last entry. Whoo hoo!
Parenting : B : Still seeing some improvement in the kids behavior but I have a long way to go with being aware [in the moment] that i’m a role model.

This was a good week for taking action and seeing some results in those efforts.

Exercise : F : I didn’t do squat. Not even one. :-/
Eating Right : C : I’m remaining mindful of portions, but it’s often too late.
Parenting : B : We’re seeing some behavior improvements in the kids; it seems we’re on the right track.

Well I’m not off to a rousing start but it’ll take a couple weeks of discipline to get this off the ground.

I often find myself thinking about ways I want to improve who I am. I think about losing weight. I think about eating better. I think about improving my work productivity and relationships. I think about being a better husband, a better father, a better friend. I think about being a better presence in the world, less of a curmudgeon, less cynical. I think about these thoughts daily, yet as is the case with 80% of the thoughts that pops into my head when zoning en route to work, strolling in between meetings, staring blankly out the window of my office, or listening intently to my wife’s breakdown of the day… they’re gone moments later. These aspirations are seldom kept in the foreground of my thoughts, where I’d be more inclined to act on them. Instead, their pushed off my mental plate as the next batch of thoughts takes their place, only to be pushed off themselves moments later.

….And you may ask yourself… “Well, how did I get here?”
Read the rest of this entry »

I often find myself thinking about ways I want to improve who I am. I think about losing weight. I think about eating better. I think about improving my work productivity and relationships. I think about being a better husband, a better father, a better friend. I think about being a better presence in the world, less of a curmudgeon, less cynical. I think about these thoughts daily, yet as is the case with 80% of the thoughts that pops into my head when zoning en route to work, strolling in between meetings, staring blankly out the window of my office, or listening intently to my wife’s breakdown of the day… they’re gone moments later. These aspirations are seldom kept in the foreground of my thoughts, where I’d be more inclined to act on them. Instead, their pushed off my mental plate as the next batch of thoughts takes their place, only to be pushed off themselves moments later.

….And you may ask yourself… “Well, how did I get here?”
Read the rest of this entry »